I'm Writing to Express My Approval of Trump's Budget Plan, Which is the Greatest of All Plans

Dear Senator,

As you know, Trump's budget plan was released, and he proposes making cuts to EVERY program and agency, and even completely eliminating some, except the ones with guns and tanks and stuff.

Some of the programs on the cutting block are the Labor Department (I think Trump thinks this relates to women giving birth), Housing Assistance (poor people should just live outside like animals), National Institutes of Health (only weaklings get diseases), the Education Department (children can just be taught by transgender bears trained by Betsy DeVos), and the Environmental Protection Agency (screw those people in West Virginia whose water is getting polluted and giving them cancer).

He is also proposing the elimination of the Corporation for National and Community Service, which would cripple if not destroy the AmeriCorps and SeniorCorps programs, two national service organizations that directly affect thousands of vulnerable people in the Pittsburgh area, in which I live, and hundreds of thousands around the country (hahaha losers). Meals on Wheels would also be targeted, because those elderly folks should just get off their diapered butts and get to the store and buy their own food with the money they don’t have like everyone else, am I right?

I hope by now you sense my sarcasm. Because everything about this plan is a flaming hot pile of garbage, and if any of these proposed cuts even gets entertained by my representatives and senators, I will find someone else to vote for when they’re up for re-election.

Sincerely disappointed,

Ms. Justice

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You can find Ms. Justice on Twitter here.

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